Messages

1

Works You Would Like Us To Know / Senior Moment

« on: March 23, 2023, 10:54:40 am »

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. So, they decided to go see their physician to get some help. Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctor’s office very pleased with the advice.

When they got home, the wife said, “Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don’t you write that down so you won’t forget?”

“Nonsense,” said the husband, “I can remember a dish of ice cream!”

“Well,” said the wife, “I’d also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you’ll forget.”

“Don’t be silly,” replied the husband. “A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!”

“OK, dear, but I’d like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you’d really better write it down now. You’ll forget,” said the wife.

“Come now, my memory’s not all that bad,” said the husband. “No problem–a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream.”

With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later.

Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, “Hey, where’s the toast?

[font="Open Sans", Arial, sans-serif]The Plop[/font]
[font="Open Sans", Arial, sans-serif]There was once a Canadian bird who decided he didn’t want to fly south for the winter. He decided it was nonsense to go all the way down south when he could just stay right where he was at. So he stayed behind. Well after awhile, it got kind of cold. Finally, he could take it no more and decided to fly south after all. As he was flying through the air, ice began to form on his wings to the point where he could no longer fly so he glided down and landed in a barnyard.
So here is the bird, he’s half frozen in a barnyard and at the point of death. About that time along comes a cow who walks right over the bird and drops a “plop” on him. Now the bird is really disgusted. He’s half frozen, dying, and now he has this “plop” on him. After a short time though, the ice begins to melt off of the bird. He starts to get warm under that “plop.” He begins to think to himself, “It’s getting warm. I’m going to live! I’m going to live!” Then right there underneath that “plop” he starts to sing little bird songs> He’s now happy once again.
About that time a cat comes along and hears this noise coming from underneath this “plop.” He moves the stuff off the bird and eats the bird.
There are three morals to the story:
1. Not everyone who drops a “plop” on you is necessarily your enemy
2. Not everyone who moves it off of you is necessarily your friend
3. And if someone does drop a “plop” on you, keep your mouth shut.[/font]

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STUDY OF ORIGINS OF THE MASTER UNIVERSE AND HOW WE USE ORIGINS ON EARTH / Re: Relax August 1933 recording of Its The Talk of the Town. An early Discussion.

« on: March 23, 2023, 10:44:42 am »

Hmm, I can see you right now doing the slow fox trout with a sparkle in your eye and a great big smile with your lady friend in your arms, go head Ron.

Weydevu

3

Works You Would Like Us To Know / CHIHUAHUA

« on: March 21, 2023, 14:08:17 pm »

A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They’re immediately taken back to a room. Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.
“This must be a mistake,” the man says. “I’ve been here only 20 minutes!”
“No mistake,” the doctor says. “It’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”




[font="Open Sans", Arial, sans-serif]The Pirate and Bird Droppings[/font]
[font="Open Sans", Arial, sans-serif]A pirate had a wooden leg, a hook on one arm, and a patch over one eye. Someone asked him how these things happened. He said that a whale bit off his leg, a crocodile had chewed off his hand, and a bird dropping hit him in the eye. The other guy replied that he understood about the wooden leg having had his original bite off by a whale, and the hook was there to replace the hand the crocodile had chewed off, but a patch over the eye because of a bird dropping … that he didn’t understand. The pirate said that when the bird dropping hit him in the eye, that was the first day he had had his hook.[/font]

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The Re-Appearance of Jesus as the Second Return / BEST LAID PLAN

« on: March 21, 2023, 13:07:26 pm »

I awoke this morning to prepare for work with my morning coffee and it hit me.  This is the best laid plan with Adam & Eve introducing JESUS that I've seen so far.  Now why is that?

Well let's see, (of coarse this is my opinion and far be it for me to out guess the GODS) we've had many scenarios of the Second Return of JESUS, of which all were good but not good enough. Why?  I've thought and pondered the different laid plans for the 2nd Return and I kept coming up with, will the people of Urantia accept these introductions seeing that we are a dark and backward planet with our beliefs base on myths and half truths.  We already know some people will be a problem regardless and will not accept the 2nd Return.


With the early plans I questioned whether Urantia would accept JESUS not coming out of the clouds and HIS new policy.


I question whether the populace would accept the MAGISTERIAL SONS introducing JESUS in HIS 2nd Return.  When they have never heard of these SONS OF GOD let alone that they are the offspring of the ETERNAL SON & and the INFINITE SPIRIT. That's going way above their heads. For the MAGISTERIAL SONS to introduce JESUS for the 2nd Return  is good but the world knows them NOT.


MACHIVENTA MELCHIZEDEX is known through out the major world's religions, not as a Divine Son of the Local Universe of Nebadon but only as a High Priest of the Melchizedex Order in the Book of Hebrews.


Then you have John the Baptist or JESUS's Disciples all of which are good and the people know of them and would bring favorable results for the 2nd Return.


After all said and done I truly believe that Adam & Eve is the BEST LAID PLAN of all the scenarios for this occasion.  Most of the populace on Urantia know of Adam & Eve and as for they are concern it all started with Adam & Eve.


It will give Them a platform to explain what took place before and during that time. And I'm sure everyone wants to know the origins of the devil (caligastia), and how it lead to them being cast out of the  Garden of Eden and how the worlds of time & space receive spiritual revelation at different time periods in our evolution.  And how all this lead to the 1st Appearance JESUS. The people of the world can identify with Adam & Eve for many reasons.


I personally believe that this is the best I've seen so far that will bring the maximum favorable results for the introduction of JESUS for HIS 2nd Return.


I thank the FATHER and all the Heavenly Host and My TA.


Weydevu


PS:  I awoke this morning with this song in my head;  M-I-CCC---K-E-YYY   M-O-U-S-E go figure. 

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Works You Would Like Us To Know / TAXI DRIVER

« on: March 20, 2023, 11:51:56 am »

[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.]A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.
For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."[/color]

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Works You Would Like Us To Know / THE BOYS

« on: March 16, 2023, 09:29:34 am »

The BOYS

The Boys
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
They boys’ mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”.
They boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God!!?” Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed,
“WHERE IS GOD!?”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing – and they think WE did it!”

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NEWS TAPES / Re: 34 Tape #34 Breakfast News 15March23 Ancients of Days - Machiventa M; Michael

« on: March 15, 2023, 02:55:11 am »

I am truly happy for you Ron, you deserve it and more.  May your healings be of all that ails you. And congratulations for your little star. And a gift from outside the Master Universe, what can one say, you have a reputation throughout the whole Grand Universe.
Am I to understand that all the rebels, insurrectionist and the cabal (of which there are millions) have all been adjudicated?
We've had reports before of groups here and there that have been either been depersonalized or sent to prison, so is this truly the end of them all?

Weydevu 

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Works You Would Like Us To Know / HEAVEN RELIGION?

« on: March 14, 2023, 12:27:28 pm »

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, “Religion?”
The man says, “Methodist.”
St. Peter looks down his list, and says, “Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. “Religion?”
“Baptist.”
“Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”
A third man arrives at the gates. “Religion?”“Baptist.”
“Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”
A third man arrives at the gates. “Religion?”
“Jewish.” “Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”
The man says, “I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?”
St. Peter tells him, “Well the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they’re the only ones here.

9

General Discussion / A.I.: CLONING YOUR VOICE

« on: March 14, 2023, 11:48:52 am »

Cloning one's voice sounds like trouble, trouble, trouble. I'm sure there are some positive things that can come from this, but not in the dark world we live in now. I see scams, a lot of trickarations, political scandals and corruptions. I see any thing a person can do to another person that is scandalous will be done through the cloning of one's voice.  Maybe after we are a few years into Light & Life on Urantia  and we learn the teachings of "The Rights of Man" from the schools of Adam & Eve. Cloning your voice should be for robotic purposes only but leave it to man to sow some evil deeds from it. That's just my thoughts on the matter.

Weydevu

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Works You Would Like Us To Know / Meeting Jonah

« on: March 12, 2023, 11:12:38 am »

Happy Sunday everybody.

"Meeting Jonah"
There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying.
But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.
One time she was sitting next to a man and when he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing
. After awhile he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"
The lady replied, "Of course I do...it is the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?
She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible.
He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"
The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.
"Then you can ask him!" replied the lady.
********************************************************************************************************


                                                                       " Praise the Lord "


A preacher trained his horse to go when he said " Praise the Lord "
and to stop when he said " Amen "
The preacher mounted the horse and said "Praise the Lord " and went for a ride.
When he wanted to stop for lunch , he said " "Amen."
He took off again saying " Praise the Lord "
The horse started going toward the edge of a cliff. The preacher got exited and said " whoa " whoa !
Then he remembered and said " Amen " and the horse stopped at the edge of the cliff.
The preacher was so relieved and grateful that he looked up to heaven and said " Praise the Lord ! "



Have a blessed day.


Weydevu

11

General Discussion / UFO emerging from volcano

« on: March 09, 2023, 12:12:48 pm »

I don't know if this is real or a photo shop, what you think?

https://www.coasttocoastam.com/article/watch-ufo-filmed-departing-from-volcano-in-mexico/

Weydevu

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NEWS TAPES / Re: 31 Tape 31 Breakast News-08 March 2023 MACh., MICHAEL, AERIAL - Where We Stand

« on: March 09, 2023, 11:05:57 am »

Hey Ron, that was very heartfelt but weather you live or die I truly believe you will be here with us and  I'm not talking about in spirit. You've been told many times you will help lead the way for years to come. True Belove Spirit don't lie. How that happens is for reasons of state. Those dam rebels and the rest of the bunch don't need to know how GOD works, they had their chance to be rehabilitated and they rejected MICHAEL's and FATHER'S MERCY. They should know that GOD moves in mysterious ways. Bad news today good news tomorrow, so be it.

Weydevu

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Works You Would Like Us To Know / NUTS IN THE CEMETERY

« on: March 04, 2023, 14:21:08 pm »

Thank you everyone.



"NUTS IN THE CEMETERY"
 On the outskirts of town, there was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence.
 One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
 "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
 The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward the fence.
 Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy.
 As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.
 He slowed down to investigate.
 Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
 He knew what it was
. "Oh, my Goodness!" he shuddered, "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery!"
 He sped off down the road as fast as he could and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
 "Come quick!" said the boy.
 "You won't believe what I heard.
 Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."
 The man said, "Shoo, you brat!
Can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is!"
 After several pleas, the man finally hobbled to the cemetery with the boy.
 Standing by the fence he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you,one for me..."
 The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth!
 Let's see if we can see the Devil himself."
 Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, yet they were still unable to see anything.
 The old man and the boy gripped the wrought-iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.
 At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all.
Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
 They say the old guy made it back to town 5 minutes before the boy!



Weydevu

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Works You Would Like Us To Know / Board or Bored

« on: March 03, 2023, 16:39:06 pm »

I hope these jokes help pass the time while we all await whatever is to be.
(1)

"Board or Bored?"
After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service.
However, the first man to arrive was a total stranger.
"You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board," said the minister.
"I know," said the man, "but if there is anyone here more bored than I am, I'd like to meet him."

- As told by Owner-LaughALot@ListFarm.com


(2)


A Day on the Golf Course"
It's a beautiful day and three men go golfing.
The first guy, Moses, steps up to the tee and hits the ball which lands smack in the middle of the lake.
Moses goes over to the lake, touches his gold club to the water, the waters part, and he walks up to it and hits it out.
The ball lands 10 feet away from the hole.
Satisfied, he steps back and lets the next man, Jesus, go.
He also goes up to the tee, hits the ball, and watches as it lands on a lily pad in near the center of the lake.
Jesus then goes to the lake, walks across the surface of the water, hits the ball out, and it lands 2 feet from the hole.
Happy, he walks over to stand with Moses.
Next the last person steps up, hits the ball, and watches as it heads right for the lake as well.
However, before it hits the surface somehow a frog manages to swallow it, followed by a large bird swooping down and grabbing the frog in it's beak, flying away with it.
Terrified, the frog spits out the ball as they pass over the roof of a nearby house, the ball goes into the rain gutter then trails back out into the field, headed straight for the hole.
He gets a hole in one!
Moses then turns to Jesus and says:
"Do you always have to bring your Dad golfing with us?"
Submitted by: Christy 4/99



Weydevu

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Works You Would Like Us To Know / A billion years equals a second

« on: March 02, 2023, 12:42:22 pm »

Here is another quip for your stomach.

A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?"
God said yes.
The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?"
God said yes.
The guy said, "God, can I have a penny?"
God said, "Sure, just a second."