MORE PEOPLE JOKES

[weydevu]

"The Value of Knowledge"
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.
He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is".
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:

• One chalk mark-------------------$1.00
• Knowing where to put it------$49,999.00

The bill was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.


"Oops!"
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something.
If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way.
Now, what was it she wanted?"
"Rain."



"Who's Perfect?"
There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman.
After a perfect courtship,they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
Who was the survivor?

• Answer: The perfect woman.
  She's the only one that really existed in the first place.
  Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus
  and there is no such thing as a perfect man...
• * A Male's Response *
• So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving.
  This explains why there was a car accident!